Question by wazat: I I heard that paula abdul quits Idol due to an impacted colon.Why would she have to do that ?
I imply , she just has to sit there. How tough can that be ? Seems to me that they could accommodate her medical requirements.
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Answer by Basic Buffoonery
Impacted colons are triggered when the colon pocket “The Nagle” becomes complete of dried fecal matter. Anytime you hear a person speaking of a Nagle you will know Nagle is complete of feces.
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it’s true, i read it on a restaurant menu.
uncle paul says its hard to sit on your butt after having an impacted colon so i think its a good move for her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeAVJtHRRJ8
Paula Abdul’s personal doctor, Jimcy Sheckler M.D., has gone public with her impacted colon diagnosis, “Paula has fecaloma, also called fecalith and coprolith, which is stones made of feces, it is a hardening of feces into stones of varying size inside the colon, which may appear whenever chronic obstruction of transit occurs. This situation is not life threatening with proper treatment. She will be given a heavy dose of the drug Frunkisernol in the coming weeks which should alleviate the situation.”
Simon said in an interview that she didn’t need to linger any longer. She will be replaced by the recently unemployed David Freed out of New York.
Her publicist, Richard Vos, has confirmed that she has in fact quit due to a medical issue relating to her colon. She will appear at a press conference later this afternoon.
The “Nagel” mentioned in a previous answer tends to linger longer when the colon is impacted. There is the “Ramone” procedure for removing the impaction which uses an instrument normally used for oral hygiene.
She said it in an interview at her home on Tuesday, while she was watching a collection of her favorite sequels including Ghostbusters 2 and Caddyshack 2.
Yes she did! While it’s sad that she is suffering, there is a bright side fo old Ted, I stand to make money hand over fist being that I just opened Ted’s Total Rectal Hydration Emporium and Bum declogging service. We offer state of the art devices and de clogging techniques. I have already mapped out the plan of action for Miss Abdul in the event that she calls. I have contracted a black gentleman who assures me that he can clean her colon in a few short hours, with a special tool that he has uses in women the world over. He said it likened it to the “snaking” that plumbers use on toilets, though he emphasized that his declogger is longer than the plumber’s tool, and as thick as my ankle.
I don’t think she would…
I mean she only works half of the year and she had a Multi million dollar contract. Come on how are you gonna replace that kind of a cushy job…?
I think it’s a polite excuse to cover the fact that Idol didn’t renew her contract.
But they are letting her go out with some dignity by saying she is retiring for medical reasons as versus she was fired or just let go or replaced.
It’s like when a Politician ” leaves to spend time with his family ” which is code for he was really gonna be sh*t canned but they are letting him have some dignity by just leaving of his own accord.
Also it’s being reported that Paula was asking for $ 20 Million to return to Idol and they would only pay half of that.
So I don’t think the issue was about health at ALL !
I think it was about money.
But when the talks broke down and Idol said don’t come back then the ” Health Issue ” was invented as a polite cover story.
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/paula-abdul-leaving-american-idol/26014?nc
I heard she took advice from Big A regarding her impacted colon and he suggested that she st-st-start on a new career. Linger Li-Li.
I’ve heard the same rumour. It’s interesting that she hasn’t Tweeted this condition… I’m sure she has many fans who could share their advice.
It’s true. Her personal physician Dr. Jimcy recommended a year long hiatus.
True, definately true. See it say’s AP.
I have it from qualified source in law enforcement, for security purpose can only give first name Kenny. ” Pulled her over once in Long Island late at night. Subject was belligerent and appeared highly intoxicated. She kept shouting “do you have any idea who i am” and mumbled something about being upset from just “having terrible meeting with her uncle paul”.
Asked to perform field sobriety test and failed the eyes test,walking test and insisted on putting highway warning cone on her head and singing.
Was then asked to perform breathalyzer test scored a 3.4 and kep asking to blow it again. So i figured i would have some fun with this and proceeded to unzip my pants and had her blow again.
After 30 minutes of this and feeling sorry for her because she was gagging when the mother load struck i let her off and proceed on her way.
That was night before she appeared on idol all glassy eyed and sick looking so i presume had awful aftertaste whole next day.
Yes it”s true but she has hired a guy at Apollo plumbing and heating( the one with the afro and does these impressions so good you would think it’s the real thing) who should be able to fix her duct work. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMMIE!
She should go to Dr. Ted Sheckler’s “House of Discount Colon Cleansing Impliments”
I didn’t realize it was an impacted colon. I simply thought she had an afghan carpet from Ted’s Carpet Emporium stuffed in her bum.
Nonsense! About 20-30 grams of fiber a day will correct that situation in a heartbeat!
Who says nonsense?
It’s true.
Dr. Jimcy is a well respected man in his field.
Be thankful it’s not muhrduhrrrr, Sam.
The only falsified reports have been rumblings from Ted’s Shenanigans Emporium, who states that her genitals were mangled by ghosttssses.
“Lets see what we got cookin in your oven ovah here.”
Jimmy Tide 2012
Producer Steven Carr sent out a press release stating that Simon offered Paula 100 grand a show and when she regretfully accepted Simon gave her a candy bar then he stood up and yelled in her face LINGER LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know how the rest of you feel but this reporter says rude and rude.I guess the pendulum will be swinging back the other way for Paula.
YES. IT ALL STARTED WHEN SHE WAS IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT. SHE WAS HIT BY A HYBRID CAR. THE DRIVER WAS WEARING A BLACK SHIRT WITH FLAMES ON IT. IT WAS ON A MONDAY BECAUSE THE DRIVER DIDN’T WORK ON MONDAYS AS I REMEBER.
her bum was clogged by rich vos’ new material
Impacted colon. No way. No way no how.